13 Things You Should Never Say To A Fallout: New Vegas Fan

Excuse me! The map in Fallout: New Vegas isn’t big and empty, it’s actually well-designed and immersive. Having to walk long distances between anything interesting while doing and seeing nothing recreates the fun of actually living in a desert wasteland. (And you can just always fast-travel, duh!)

Oh, looks like someone fell out of 2010 and hasn’t kept up to date with current events! New Vegas launched in a rough state, sure, but now it’s mostly fine. I mean, sure, there are still very old bugs and glitches in the game that have been there since launch that never got fixed.

And yeah, okay… without mods the game is prone to crashing on PC. But I mean, come on…at least it’s not Fallout 4. Am I right?!

I’ve got spurs that jingle when they jangle and I’ll kick your ass with them if you ever speak ill of the fantastic, moody, and thematically appropriate radio station made up of like 12 country songs that you’ll hear 50,000 times before you finish the game.

Okay, maybe a few lines in the game get repeated once or twice, but hey, at least it’s not Fallout 76!

Sure, you can do that if you want. But that would be pretty dumb. The best way to play Fallout: New Vegas is of course on PC with over 200 mods installed using various guides and tools that will probably break in confusing and frustrating ways.

Yes, I know I said the game isn’t very buggy before and actually is perfect—but that’s only after you install this massive list of user-made mods. Okay? Nobody can have fun with Fallout: New Vegas on a console! Impossible.

I guess it’s better if you like boring games that look like someone smeared green jelly all over your TV. I mean, Fallout 3 doesn’t even have iron sights in it! It’s basically unplayable.

No. This is a journey for cool people who have good taste. Go play your weird Fallout MMO and leave us alone while we play—ah shit, 12 of my mods just broke and I have to reinstall everything because I can’t get the load order right.

Fuck you.

I’m sorry, you don’t enjoy Felicia Day, Danny Trejo, or the late Matthew Perry? They fit perfectly into the franchise and I bet most people didn’t even realize they were in the game. And no, I’m not sure why Bethesda spent so much money on pricey, big-name voice talent that is hard to pick out while you play unless you know beforehand. Sorry, I’m too busy singing “Big Iron” to continue answering this question.

Yikes, you seem like a very impatient person! The waiting is part of the fun. Enjoy the loading screens, assuming you modded them out and replaced them with high-res ones instead.

How do you even play Fallout: New Vegas without occasionally being jump-scared by Boone randomly one-shoting an enemy you didn’t even see? Sounds boring!

Apparently, you didn’t watch the entire series because it literally ends with a big hint that, no, New Vegas is canon. Besides, Todd Howard confirmed New Vegas is still canon. Stop being silly and instead join this 20,000-post-long Reddit thread debating which ending of New Vegas will be represented in the show. And remember: Whichever option Amazon goes with, none of us will be happy!

I’m done with this. I’m going to leave now and install a 230 GB texture replacement update for New Vegas so I can replay the same quests I love using the same build I always use alongside Boone for the 200th time. I can’t wait for them to remaster this game so I can replay it and be mad at the same time!